Inbox

One thousand five hundred and forty three
That’s how many were sent to me
Just in the last week, my time’s not my own
And that’s just the e-mail, don’t mention the phone

Don’t talk to me, darling, my inbox is bulging
Can’t get rid of them, for fear of indulging
In terrible crimes, missing key information
I’ll just have to read them all, at my work station

A number ‘for info’ – I don’t want to know
But when it comes up it’s important I show
That I read it, absorbed it and now can discuss
Whatever it was – mustn’t make any fuss.

‘CC’ this ‘CC’ that, and blind copy to Fred
(Don’t want Mary knowing he’s getting ahead)
Take her off circulation, out of the group
This is confidential – she’s out of the loop

There’s lots of ‘reply all’ ones, offering dates,
Which no-one can do, (a lot on their plates)
We’re trying to meet, and have been for a while,
We keep e-mailing round, it’s becoming a trial

Six months now, we’ve been sending messages to
And fro, trying to meet to decide what to do
But everyone’s busy, with all their e-mail
And dates come and go and our efforts all fail

Did I get what?  Remind me.  Oh, hang on, I’ll go
And look back to last year – I keep them, you know.
Ah yes, this one – the urgent one, I don’t recall
Receiving it from you – no, not at all

The system plays up, you know, doesn’t deliver
Administrative failure, it makes me quiver
To think that I missed this important detail
The perils, the worries of using e-mail

If ever your inbox is looking replete
Grab hold of your mouse and click, drag and delete.

Jenny Knight

2005